By Doula Jen

For those expecting their second child—wondering if you have enough love in your heart, concerned about sibling rivalry, thinking that you might be taking something away from your firstborn with the birth of your second—let me share a little something with you:

These are MY babies.  On this night, I tucked them into their own separate beds and found them—together—nose to nose about an hour after I’d said goodnight.  For all the times my daughter has threatened to send her little brother away, has told him that he was adopted, and pronounced his voice the most annoying sound in the world…there are also moments like this.

The bond of blood and constant companionship, a shared womb.

I see this picture and swoon.  For every fight that I break up (every 10 minutes or so), there are giggles and secrets that I happen upon, or  am excluded from as they team up as one.  I get to watch them walk into the school building arm in arm.  I get to watch them pretend they are cheetahs by the water or elephants in the grass or babies in blankets; race car drivers and puppeteers.

When you give your child a sibling, you may be taking away some of that focus and attention.  Is that a bad thing?  Being the center of the universe puts a lot of pressure on a kid’s shoulders!  First lessons in tolerance and anger management start at home, the first time that adorable baby takes a toddler’s toy.

It is true that adding another child to your family may give your one and only their greatest adversary.  Chances are, number two will also—at times—be their best friend.